How do I find childcare help without an agency?

When one agency runs out of names

We went to an agency, were given a database to look through, and got to the end of the plausible candidates in an afternoon. That's the normal experience rather than bad luck — a single agency's pool at any moment is smaller than the pitch suggests.

What worked instead was running several routes at once. More than one agency, simultaneously, rather than politely waiting for one to produce someone. And asking other parents locally, which produced the best candidates we saw by a wide margin.

Check people properly yourself

The temptation is to describe a neater job than the one you have. It wastes everyone's time, because the person takes it and then discovers the real shape of it.

Ours was genuinely awkward at one point: a few nights a week, not the same nights, plus some hours in the morning on the days without nights. Flexible rather than regular. We put that in the advert as it was, and the people who replied were people for whom that pattern worked.

If you're hiring directly, the vetting is yours. It isn't difficult, it's just work.

Speak to references on the phone, not by message. The question that produced the most useful answers was not "was she good" but "what did she find hard, and what would you tell the next family". People will tell you something real in response to that.

Start the paperwork early

Finding the person is often the quick part.

If they need a visa, a work permit, or permission to travel with you, start it long before you need them. We needed a Schengen visa for a live-in to come with us for a summer and the process was slower and more particular than expected. Whoever sponsors the person — you, or a company — matters to how it's done, and the paperwork depends on their nationality as much as yours.