Yes, travelling with a baby is hard

We asked outright whether parents generally hate travelling with babies, because we had just done it and wanted to know whether we were the problem.

The answer is that most find it stressful, including people who do it regularly and people whose babies travel well. What makes it hard isn't the baby — it's the combination of no control, no privacy, a schedule you can't move, and an audience.

The single highest-value thing we did was write out the questions for the airline before the first flight and ring them.

What we needed to know: how the bassinet is booked and whether it's confirmed or requested, the weight and length limit for it, whether a doctor's letter is needed and from when, what can be carried beyond the normal allowance, how the pram is handled and where it's returned, what liquids are allowed for a baby through security control, and what the seating rules are.

Solve the awkward parts before leaving

This was the thing that caused us most anxiety and had the most practical answer.

The problem with formula on a plane is water: you do not want to rely on whatever is available. Baby milk and food can be exempt from the usual 100ml liquid limit, but the exact security rules depend on the airport and journey, so check before flying. What worked for us was a thermos of hot boiled water, a portable warmer and bottled water chosen for its low mineral content rather than the brand.

We flew two days in a row at one point and she ate noticeably less than usual — several hundred millilitres below her normal — while being perfectly awake and cheerful. And after a difficult night flight where she didn't sleep at all, she then slept six hours straight once we landed.

Both of those are the normal shape of it. A dip in appetite for a day or two, and catch-up sleep that looks excessive. Neither needed anything done about it.

Expect a few unsettled days

A smaller thing worth saying. One of us went away for work and video-called her, and the moment she saw his face on the screen she started crying.

That's not rejection and it isn't damage. A familiar face in an unfamiliar form, without the smell or the voice-in-the-room or the being-picked-up, is confusing rather than comforting at that age. It resolves the moment you're actually back.

Call your doctor immediately if

Blue or grey, a pause or struggle to breathe, or a floppy baby you cannot wake — call your local emergency number now.

  • Working hard to breathe, grunting, or pauses in her breathing, or she goes pale, grey or blue
  • She's floppy, very hard to wake, or her cry is nothing like her usual one
  • A temperature of 38°C or above under three months
  • She's refusing all feeds, or wet nappies have dropped away