How do I let a nanny or night nurse go?

You do not need to build a case

Trust had gone. There were things we'd noticed that didn't add up — small inconsistencies, a sense that standards were different depending on whether anyone was watching, one episode where something was handled badly. None of it was provable, and some of it we genuinely couldn't be certain about.

So we waited, because it felt as though ending it required proof. That's the trap, and it cost us weeks.

The reframing that got us out of it: this arrangement isn't working for our household. That's it. It's true, it's sufficient, and it's not an allegation.

It is also fairer to the other person. Saying the arrangement no longer works leaves their reputation intact. Making an accusation you cannot support risks harming them and starting a dispute that changes nothing.

Keep the conversation short

Short. Specific about the practical facts, vague about nothing that matters.

The arrangement isn't working for us. Your last night will be X. We'll pay the notice in full.

Arrange the replacement, or work out how you'll manage the gap, before the conversation happens.

We nearly didn't, and the reason the arrangement had already run too long was precisely the fear of the gap. Having cover in place means you're choosing between two workable options rather than between a bad fit and a crisis — and that's what finally made the decision easy.

Keep safety as a separate question

Keep two things apart.

Whether to continue employing someone is a judgement call and gut feeling is enough. Whether your baby has been harmed is a medical question, and it goes to a doctor now, not into the employment conversation.