She seems to wake herself up

That was our description and it was a good one. Not stirring, not fussing — asleep, and then suddenly eyes wide open and properly awake.

Two things cause most of it, and they're worth telling apart because they need different responses.

The startle/moro reflex

Arms fling out, then back in. It's a newborn reflex, it happens at the slightest change, and it is extremely good at waking a baby who was almost asleep.

A snug swaddle around the arms helps a great deal while she still needs it. Hips loose, arms firm — the hips part matters, and there's a whole guide on getting that right.

It fades over the first months on its own. Until then it's the commonest reason a perfectly settled baby is suddenly awake and cross.

Surfacing between cycles

Sleep comes in cycles, and at the end of each one she comes up close to waking. Adults do this too and roll over without noticing.

A young baby often opens her eyes, looks around, and then either goes back down or decides she's up. That's why naps so often end at around forty minutes — it's one cycle.

Papa kept getting this wrong at the beginning. He was always in alert mode, so the moment he would see Ari eyes open, he would be like, ok shes awake time to go. More often than not, Ari was actually moving to another sleep cycle, and when Papa intervened would infact wake her up and then she would start to cry. Most of the times, don’t be impulsive. Wait. Shes probably transitioning.

If you can be in the room just before she surfaces, a hand on her chest at the first stir often carries her through into the next cycle. That only works if you're there before she's fully awake, which means knowing roughly how long her cycles run.

Ordinary jolts stop if you gently hold the limb. Rhythmic, repetitive movement that carries on regardless, especially with a blank stare or a change in colour, is different and needs urgent assessment.

We've written that check up properly in its own guide. It takes a few seconds and it's worth knowing before you need it.

Call your doctor immediately if

Blue or grey, a pause or struggle to breathe, or a floppy baby you cannot wake — call your local emergency number now.

  • Rhythmic movement that doesn't stop when you hold the limb
  • She goes pale, grey or blue, even briefly
  • She's very hard to wake afterwards
  • Breathing pauses, or breathing that looks like hard work
  • She's floppy, or unusually unresponsive