How can I put my sleeping baby down without waking her?

Asleep in your arms, awake in the cot

We asked about skills for putting a baby to sleep, and most of the answer turned out to be about the last twenty seconds rather than the previous twenty minutes.

Getting her to sleep was rarely the problem. Getting her from us to the mattress without her noticing was.

Wait longer than you think

Eyes closing isn't asleep. Early sleep is light and easily interrupted, and moving her at that point almost guarantees starting over.

The test we used: shuffle a bit, if she barely moved she was deeply asleep. If her head moved side to side even with eyes closed, wait.

Usually it's another five to ten minutes beyond the point where she looks asleep. Those minutes feel unbearable and they save you the next half hour.

How to go down

Bottom and feet first, head last. Lowering head first triggers the startle/moro reflex — she feels like she's falling backwards, and everything in her responds.

Keep her close as you go down, then hold a hand on her chest for a few seconds once she's on the mattress. That pause is doing real work; letting go immediately is what often wakes her.

Warm the sheet with your hand first. A cold surface against a warm baby is a very effective alarm clock.

Putting her down sleepy rather than fully asleep is the thing that eventually makes all of this easier, because she learns the last bit herself. This however, is for later, after the first month.

It doesn't need to be every time. Once a day is enough to build it, and there's no obligation to do it at three in the morning when you just want the night back.

And the sleep rules don't move for any of this. Flat, on her back, firm mattress, nothing in the cot.